From FOMO to Freedom: How Sobriety Transformed my Solo Travelling Experience
Introduction
If you are newly sober or if you are about to solo travel for the first time since getting sober it’s only normal to be nervous about what to expect. I’m here to tell you how my solo travel experience has become so much more meaningful since I’ve been sober.
For some context, I got sober at 23 which is an age where it’s still socially acceptable to have a drinking problem (because it’s ‘a phase’). I knew it was never a phase for me and something that needed to change if I wanted to regain control of my own life. When I left for my first big solo trip I was 11 months sober, I was excited but nervous. I had travelled solo before but never sober. I was scared of the FOMO and that my sobriety would be a limitation throughout my travels.
What FOMO Felt Like
It’s so heavily ingrained in our society that drinking is the only way to have fun and that it’s the only way we can connect with others. Basically, every social event revolves around alcohol. My first sober solo trip was a 5 month long backpacking journey across South East Asia. Places like Thailand are known for their parties and lots of people go there with the main purpose of drinking. When you are in your early twenties nobody expects you to be sober and lots of people just can’t wrap their head around it.
There were hard days when everyone I would meet would just wanted to party so I felt I had no common ground to relate to them. Or feeling left out because the new group of people I met are all going to the bar and I’m the only one who isn’t interested in going. It’s easy to feel FOMO and feel left out. It can be especially challenging when we travel solo and don’t have our usual support system.
I will note I was in a very good place in my recovery while travelling and was more concerned about FOMO and not making friends than relapse. I wouldn’t recommend staying at places with a huge party scene/heavy drinking culture if you are very newly sober and concerned that peer pressure, lack of support system, being around lots of drinkers etc. will lead to relapse. Of course you know yourself best but it’s important to set ourselves up for success and avoid things that may be too triggering for us.
From FOMO to Freedom
I hit my one year sober on the first month of this trip and was beyond proud to hit this milestone. I realized my sobriety was never a limitation but something that had saved me and made me more authentically myself. I did this for me and being on this solo trip for this milestone just showed me that I could do anything.
One of the best things about solo travel is you choose how to spend your days and there is nobody else who can tell you what to do. Being a sober solo traveler means there is nobody else who can define what a ‘fun’ time is. It’s all up to you! You don’t have to get dragged along to the bar just because your friends are going or hang out with people you have no interest in talking to.
It may be scary to say no to other’s at first but with time it becomes second nature. At the beginning of my trip I would say yes to going out and not even enjoy myself. I got to a point where there was no FOMO because I was doing what actually wanted to do, not just saying yes because I felt like I should. It was incredible to realize I was never missing out in the first place because there wasn’t anything to miss out on.
Things Sobriety Gave Me While Travelling
1. Deeper Self-Trust
When I was drinking I was a mess and thought I wasn’t capable of anything. Travelling the world on my own and sober has shown me that I am capable of things I had never even dreamed of! I trust myself and my decisions (even the slightly chaotic ones) because I know I can handle whatever happens. Solo travel has boosted my confidence and allowed me to trust myself again because I’ve shown up for myself time and time again.
2. Genuine Connections
Meeting people as my sober self used to terrify me but, when you’re travelling alone you don’t really have a choice. Nothing like forcing an introvert out of her shell than through absolute necessity! But, being my true, authentic, sober self has allowed me to make so many real connections throughout my travels. Having real conversations that aren’t drunken nonsense that I probably won’t remember the next day are so much more valuable to me.
If you are struggling to meet like-minded people on your solo travels try doing activities that are social but don’t revolve around booze. Things like a workout class, day tours, hanging at coworking spaces and hiking tours can lead you to your people. I love yoga so I attended a few yoga retreats and met such incredible people who shared similar interests and values. Bonus, because yoga retreats are typically alcohol-free!
3. Incredible Mornings
Waking up early is so underrated. Getting early to touristy places to beat the crowds, watching the sunrise, a cafe all to yourself are just some of the things I love. But waking up without a hangover, grateful for it every day! I met another solo traveller who was doing a lot of drinking throughout her travels and she told me she missed so much of her trip because she’d be so hungover she didn’t want to do anything all day (until drinking that night). This is not the way I want to live anymore and starting my days intentionally and early just set me up for an amazing day!
4. A Stronger Sense of Identity
Being sober and a solo traveller have both taught me who I really am without all the bullshit. I’m confident in setting boundaries, making the best decisions for me and refusing to be embarrassed about my choices even if they’re different from everyone else’s. I am authentically me and couldn’t care less about somebody’s opinion on it. The best part when travelling, most of the people you’ll never see again so there’s absolutely no need to impress anybody. Do it for you!
5. Freedom From Regret
No lost phones, ‘omg wtf did i do last night’ texts or horrific Instagram stories that make you cringe the next day. No hangxiety or drunken mistakes to haunt you on this trip. You get to remember your trip without all the blackouts and confusion. The good, the beautiful, the lessons, you get to remember it all!
6. Creativity and Presence
When you’re a sober solo traveler you have time and space to reflect on your journey, your life and all the lessons you’ve learnt. You can be fully present to this experience and embrace how unique this chapter of your life is. Life is so incredible when we’re not numbing ourselves and chasing the next buzz but living intentionally. You’ll learn so much about yourself when you are really being yourself, not some version you think people will like or that you need to be for others to accept you. Just 100% real you, aka the best you.
Final Reflections: Redefining What It Means to ‘Live Fully’
I know a sober solo trip can be so daunting but I promise it will be such an incredible journey. Being sober on a trip doesn’t mean FOMO it means FREEDOM! Sobriety isn’t a limitation while travelling, it’s the best tool to be your true self and be fully present to your experience. If I can do it I know that you can! You got this, wishing you the best of luck and sending you so much love. I’d love to hear from you in the comments if you’ve had a sober solo trip or are planning one in your future!
